College Essay by Cami Beauregard

3:42 A.M. Shaking, on the floor. Is that normal? What even is that? I was diagnosed with Epilepsy when I was nine years old. To me that meant I was special; God blessed me with something that no other kid had. But to the outside world, I was weird.

My childhood revolved around my brain and how it refused to function the right way. I woke up several nights a week swallowing my tongue and collapsing on my knees to the ground. My mind was so occupied by the nighttime, by its seizures, that during the daytime I could not focus.  My world was a world of earthquakes.

I used to feel lost. I felt like I tried so hard to succeed in school, in sports, in life and then failed when measured by normal standards.  It was like I was living in reverse. I started real strong in the morning and ended real weak as I got into bed at night, often in fear for what might be coming. At the end of the day, I felt like the reflection of myself that others saw was not the true reflection of my heart.  I used to truly believe I was broken. Doctors tried to fix me but nothing worked. I gave up on trying to be normal.

I found mediation. I learned Transcendental Meditation. It helped me find the inner beauty of my brain. It made me see that not every part of it was broken. Sometimes people try so hard to fix something that isn’t shattered; attempting to patch up holes can often have them rip more. Meditation brought me happiness; Meditation brought me strength.

I slowly started to believe in myself. I started to believe I could be something; a change in the world. I realized if I told myself to be one way, soon enough I would believe I actually was that way. And as simple as that, the seizures began to fade. I believed in myself so much that I gave myself the power to change. I found balance.

During my high school summers, I went to Interlochen Arts Camp. I never felt more alive. The experiences propelled me. I found my passion; ART and Expression. The click of the camera snapping a shot reminded me of the ways my eyes blinked up and down. The feeling of my brain exhausted writing poem after poem was welcomed. And the feeling of the clay in between my fingers remind me of how tired my muscles could become. But this time, I wasn’t scared to be measured. I wasn’t afraid to open my eyes after finishing. I realized I had learned how to fly.

Art is my life. I am what I make with my hands. I experience life through the peep-hole of the camera. Anyone can take a picture but it’s the experience behind it that brings light to the surface.

You may wonder: What’s my point? My point is, God made me different. I am special like the sun. There is only one of me. I believe in myself, and that is the bravest statement I’ve ever said. I finally can look any obstacle in the eye and say, “I can do it.”

My grades measure standards but my hands show determination and spirit. I am determined to succeed and I won’t stop pounding until someone gives me a chance. If my journey so far has taught me one thing it is that the only thing you can count on is change. I am constantly evolving, growing, and changing. This is what makes life beautiful, the mystery of the art and how to bring it out.

My experiences, joys and burdens have made me who I am today. I go to high school and I work. I have every girl’s dream job. I am a sales girl at a very chic boutique in downtown Birmingham, MI. While working at Caruso Caruso, I have found that fashion interests me as well. The job has gifted me so many fabulous opportunities. I modeled on FOX2 news. I have been invited to New York to help pick out new merchandise for the store! Working has helped to grow, to gain confidence and reminded me that the world is a whole lot bigger than my high school lead me to believe.

I really believe I can make a difference. Let me convince you that I am stronger than I look on paper, smarter than you believe, and wiser then you suspect.  I am on a journey.  I am not sure what tomorrow will bring but I am confident that it will hold unique opportunities, experiences and change.  If you give me the chance to be a part of your learning community, I will propel it.

 

Cami Beauregard
High School Student
Birmingham, MI