I’m back on my mat for the first time. As I gaze down my body a momentary lapse of grief for the absence in my womb is followed by the relief of finally knowing who he is.
My hamstrings ask me to go slow so I follow their lead with my heels off the ground. Flowing through each pose, I’m reminded of the miracle of growing a human. I feel the twinge in my hips and forgive them for their weakness. I promise them that we’ll work together to get strong again.
The babe is asleep upstairs and I can’t help but laugh as my milk leaks all over and the dog bites my hair, pulling me forward to play. My neck is stiff and my back is sore but I notice my arms are stronger. This is my new body.
I follow a 30 minute practice with a long savasana and a 10 minute meditation. Just me and my mantra, whom I haven’t spoken of in months. We’re quick to find each other. A sweet reunion.
I hear my little one whimper. Opening my eyes, I feel my body like I never have. I recognize that the practice is the metaphor for the return to routine. And before is a place I’ll never long to return.
Tuning the Student Mind Film Director, Chelsea Richer, on becoming a mother.